#2: Final Destination 3 (2006) – One Last Ride at the CarnEvil
Dir: James Wong | IMDb
Death visits the fair in Final Destination 3, which features the most illogical – but no less chilling – of the franchises opening sequences. Soon-to-be High School Graduates have gathered for a night at a carnival. Its centrepiece is an intimidating steel roller-coaster called Devil’s Flight. Preferring to keep her feet firmly on the ground, Wendy (Mary Elizabeth Winstead; 10 Cloverfield Lane, 2011’s The Thing) is eventually persuaded by her boyfriend to ride with him and their friends. Big mistake. The Hydraulic Fluid used for over-arm restraints is already leaking before they board but the pipe keeping the riders secure is severed by a camcorder sneaked aboard and eventually dropped by lecherous Frankie (Sam Easton).
The first moment of restraints lifting is absolutely terrifying. Their screams of ecstasy turn to agony as they hold on for dear life. One of the trains uncouples, sending the free-moving riders into an unscheduled nose-dive. Tough guy Lewis (the fantastically named Texas Battle), who was boasting about his strength a mere five minutes prior, flails like a flag in a hurricane when he’s ejected from his seat. The remaining car, sans the majority of its wheels, grinds to a halt at the curve of a loop, dropping riders to the unforgiving concrete below. The two remaining victims Kevin & Wendy rock the carriage and it hurtles backwards, impaling (quelle surprise) Kevin and leaving Wendy to reach her, ahem, final destination when a dislodged piece of track derails the car.
Not to brag, but I know a thing or two about Rollercoasters. I won’t go into too much detail – I save all the good stuff for date conversation – but believe me, this scenario is highly unlikely (the coaster crash, not me getting a date. Be nice). Still, Final Destination 3 visualises exactly the kind of fear that keeps people off these engineering marvels. According to the latest Ride Safety Report by International Amusement Parks and Attractions (IAAPA), which is a terrific and not at all drier than sandpaper read, there were 0.8 injuries per million rides in 2018. Put simply, you’re more likely to be injured while reading one of my articles than you are at a Theme Park.
But I digress. For me, Final Destination 3 excels above the other three entries for its tremendous execution and its swift but effective introduction (and subsequent exiting) of its characters. Overall, the third entry is my favourite film of the series and features some of the best teenage terminations (tanning bed, anyone?) but the opener is barely pipped at the post by…
#1: Final Destination 2 (2003) – My Way or the Dieway
Dir: David R. Ellis | IMDb
The film that made your heart beat faster when driving behind a logging truck, Final Destination 2 tops the list for its devastating simplicity and frightening plausibility.
While heading up to Florida for Spring break with her friends, Kimberly (A.J. Cook) has a vision of a catastrophic highway pile up. There are bad omens all over the place for Kimberly, but she begins to suspect things are amiss when the engine light of her car begins blinking. Much like ‘We’re fine! There’s a fence!’ from Final Destination 5, Kimberly’s passenger proclaims that they, the car, her dad and everything will be fine. That furiously flashing ‘Engine Error’ light must just be there for dashboard decoration. To her left, a beer delivery truck pulls past. The driver, fully dedicated to the Hice Pale Ale cargo which shows up in four of the films, is drinking a cool one. Shaken by his actions, she puts on her seat belt – which should’ve been done at the start of the journey. Clunk, click, Every Trip Kimberly!
The next car to drive alongside her on the conveyor belt of crash victims is a station wagon carrying a boy who would’ve been a certified future serial killer. He’s gleefully smashing two cars together with considerable force while maintaining eye contact and grinning. Give it a minute though, that smile will be wiped off his face and smeared all over the tarmac. A motorcyclist speeds through traffic flaunting the advantage of being on two wheels to glide by the four-wheelers, but he can’t outrun Death. Meanwhile, a coke-head narrowly avoids the long arm of the law when a patrol car rolls by. In it is Officer Expendable who’s asking for a hot crotch when he precariously perches coffee in the cup holder. He makes moves into the right-hand lane and finds himself travelling behind a semi- trailer truck carrying 19 (I counted) huge tree trunks.
The stage is set. Our pawns in Death’s game of chess are in place. With the snapping of a chain, logs come bouncing off the truck and spill into the road. Officer Expendable gets the brunt of the bark with a gruesome slaying when the timber is vaulted through his windscreen. Think of what it looks like to punch a jam-filled sponge cake except its, y’know, a human head instead. The cocky biker slides to avoid the unfolding havoc, but in a beautiful slice of poetic justice gets pinned to a stationary log by his own bike. Our narcotic abusing pal survives being flipped more than a pancake on Shrove Tuesday but is steamrolled by an 18-wheeler. Another unfortunate soul slams her foot on the brakes – but a bottle of water is caught underneath the pedal.
Almost every car explodes as if it’s filled with C4 and many spin spectacularly through the air. Kimberly weathers the initial storm but while she’s stuck upside down (maybe that seat belt wasn’t such a good idea after all), another truck literally roars through the flames to finish the job.
Final Destination 2 features by far the most believable of premonition sequences. The majority of people I know who have seen it all comment about how they’ve become more wary of big trucks carrying heavy cargo on the road after watching. If it wasn’t daunting enough already, FD2 makes the idea of everyday travel a horrifying prospect and places it firmly as my favourite premonition sequence from the series.
My favorite vision isn’t on here. The pileup from Final Destination 2.